And here we go...!

First blog post. Curse you Marie! It's because of you that I actualy started this. Well more specificaly, it's because of you that I will now publish what I write under my name. I usualy post and write a lot on the web but under the identity of ''anonymous''. Now well, you'll have the chance of reading my randomness.

Let's clarify a few things first:

- I'm no spell check master, so I make mistakes. Lots and lots of 'em.
- If you read anything that is in between the following symbol '' * '', it's an action.
- The cake is a lie.
- I love to bitch and whine. No, not bitch and wine. Whining to me is like a sport. The more you do it, the better you become! Why does this sound SO familiar?
- My mind is permanently residing in the gutter.
- I love to laugh.
- I love long walks on the beach during sun sets, love kids and ... wait ... this isn't the classified adds? My bad.

So now that we got that covered we can carry on. I work in an office and happen to have lots of free time and a green tan from the computer screen over exposure. Heh! This (blog) is mainly meant as a hobby, to pass time at work, share my ideas, opinions and craptastic stuff that tends to happen in my life. Hope you enjoy.

And here we go...!

Today I had a free lesson handed to me. Being extremely lucky while being retarded 101. Amazing class really. Most people don't need this class but I needed it this morning!

7:45 AM: Alarm clock goes off. I snooze it.
7:50 AM: Alarm clock goes off. I snooze it.
8:00 AM: Alarm clock goes off. I turn it off.
8:40AM: ''Crap, I should've left home about 30 minutes ago to get to work.''

So I take a quick shower (jump in, wash, rinse, get dressed half wet still) and hop in the car. It seems that on days where you are in a hurry, people with their full day availlable to them, in no hurry are on the road and in your way. So i'm trying to hurry up while remaining reasonnable with my speed. I finaly reach the access ramp to the highway while asking myself if it was asshole day on the road (myself included) and get on the highway. When I get on the highway, I accelerate to 120ish and follow traffic but this morning, i'm a bit of in a hurry but stuck behind other cars.

I look in my mirror and see further behind me a purple car, with was seems to be 2 hot women in it. Thing is, these 2 women are driving fast. Really fast! They're catching up... Cars finaly switch lanes in front me and the first thing I thought: ''Well I need to get to work fast and I don't wanna slow down these ladies...''. So I accelerate a bit more, 140KM/H. This car is still catching up rather quickly. ''Holly crap, looks like i'm not the only one in a hurry.''. *Accelerate a bit more* 160KM/H. I finaly passed all the slow cars in the right lane, have a clear way to get on that lane since my exit is in less than 1KM. Just as i'm about to swith to the right lane I look in my mirror and see that the 2 women in a hurry did catch up to me and are indeed hot... With their red and blue lights flashing from their inside mirror. It was an SQ (Sureté du Québec, just under RCMP here in QC) ghost car following me at 160KM/H.

CRAPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP. I saw the signs, they're everywhere. 160KM/H = 895.00$ + 10pts off your licence. That's the first thing that went through my mind. So I slow down, put my flasher and get on the right lane ready to pull over. I'm still at 140 slowing down and the car speeds up, gets next to me and both are looking at me and they give me the hand-spinning-on-the-side-of-head-as-you-mean-are-you-retarded, turned off the lights and took off as I took my exit to get to work.

Me: *Shock*

So I was being retarded while driving, I fully deserved that ticket but for some reason, these 2 cops just showed me I was retarded and went their merry way and I got to work 30 minutes late instead of 1h late. (I calculate an extra 30 if I had gotten that ticket...)

I don't think i'll be speeding on a highway for a while now... The lesson was free and two fold.
1- Don't do crazy speed, it would've costed a lot on top of risking my life and others.
2- Always... Always carry an extra pair of underwear to work because the day you're 100% sure you're busted at 160KM/H on the highway, you too will need fresh new underwear once you reach work.