Last night was the birthday of one of our friends. The last one in our ''gang'' to reach the quarter of a century. We had a blast and we went to ''La cage aux sports'' to watch the game and have supper with a few beers for his birthday.
Were about ten and talking and having a few beers. At one point during the night, the girls all go to the bathroom together so there's only the guys left at the table and we reach a point of awkward silence for no reason really just no one was talking. Then for some reason I still don't understand I popped the only question that came to my mind to the guys:
''So was everyone's first experience with a condom awkward?'' *Bigger awkward silence* All the guys look at each other unsure and i'm laughing my ass off at the awkwardness I just created and one starts (Guess the booze got us going):
''Well to be honest, first time with a condom was like when you shoot a rubber band at someone. It was hell, it wouldn't get on.''
That was it, he had ''broken'' the ice and everyone then shared their story. One starts by explaining to us that he had unrolled it all THEN tried to put it on. Yeah good luck! One goes explaining how they didn't have one the first time and he had to run to the store at minus 40 degrees celcius and get some. He got back home and the parents were home early and he had a bag with condoms in it. His condom lesson was done by his parents, in front of his girlfriend. Ouch. Another one of our friends explained how he thought you had to stretch it, pull it all the way down to the base and then ''let go''. Instant loss of erection occured.
Then I shared mine. As you can see by the only question that popped my mind at the table, I ask myself some pretty fucked up shit sometimes. My first experience with a condom was ... special to say the least. I was with a very complexed girl. We were in the dark getting the foreplay on but always in the dark. No lights were allowed she wasn't confortable with her body naked exposed in the light. Who am I to argue, i'm 15, horny and getting... treated. Dark it is. That's all fine except when she tells you for the first time: ''Let's do it. Got any condoms?'' Yeah I do, except I have no clue how to put that on, i'm excited and it's dark. I get a condom and do my first attempt at putting it on in the dark not too sure. It doesn't seem to work so I say: Let me go to the bathroom real quick put it on since I can't turn the light on. I went to the bathroom and then looked at my member, looked at the condom and asked myself: How the ...?
Then all sorts of things rushed through my head. Do balls go inside too or not? Well I have to protect them too sooo I tried to put them in too. Yeah I did that. Let's just say being persistant isn't always a good thing as I tried and kept on trying, well my member really did not appreciate the gesture and wouldn't cooperate. I still remember that night like it was yesterday and I laugh so hard today thinking back about the next scene. Since it was the last condom (Yeah took a few to figure it out) and reallyyyyyyyyyy wanted to do it, I helped myself getting back up and figured, alright, let's just give this a go... Naturaly.
I remember getting back in the room with a rubber really badly put on (it reach the base of the penis however, there's a piece of the condom ''hanging at the tip'' since i unrolled too much and ... yeah) and I get back in the room only to realise, she had gotten dressed, 25 minutes had passed since I had said ''be right back'' and the lights were now on. She couldn't help herself but busting out laughing at the scene with me in erection, rubber ''hanging at the end'' and I get in saying: I GOT IT!!! Her laughing caused the funniest of it all, it got me shy and all the blood down there rushed to my face and the rubber sort of just ''fell'' on the ground instantly. Laughing ensued even me. We never did it that night as we both felt it just wasn't the time and I felt too ashamed to even try again.
Then were all laughing at the table but also realising that were somewhat normal (Let's leave the fact that were discussing our first rubber experiences at a cage au sport out of the ''normal'' criteria shall we?) and it isn't quite an easy experience despite all the ''training'' you get in high school on the banana. Looks realllll simple in class, on a hard banana without any pressure. When you reach the point of the first time, you're shitting bricks, literaly and the high school class is nothing but a blur in your mind and you can't quite figure it out it seems. I blame the blood rush. The girls got back after 15 minutes of us discussing rubbers and what not and they ask what were all laughing about. Needless to say, they started laughing too when we explained and then THEY told us their stories and it made us all go: Ok, it's not just us.
Why am I even writting about this you might ask? I ask myself too. It just makes me laugh and I enjoy laughing. During this period of the year, went it's cold, dark, dull... We can all use a laugh! And I enjoy discussing awkward shit that everyone lives, just never really talk about.
Also, because I feel this a topic everyone can relate to. Yeah sure some guys somewhere got it right and perfect the first time around! But I think for the average joe, it's quite an experience that as I can see, everyone actualy remembers. I'm pretty sure as you read this, you; yourself, actualy went on memory lane thinking about your first experience with one.
Hopefuly, I got you to laugh a bit on this cold January day. January sucks. Winter sucks.
PS: Totaly unrelated topic... But i'm glad I was a part of history yesterday. I witness what was probably a bigger step for mankind than men on the moon. Congrats to Barack Obama who overcomed so many obstacles, prejudice, racism, people who didn't believe and kept dashing head first for what he believed in and to achieve his goal. That people, is fucking inspiration. He might not change the world, he might not get the states back on their feet but I think we can all agree that he has already achieved a lot just by being elected. Good luck to him.
mercredi 21 janvier 2009
lundi 12 janvier 2009
The shitty landlord.
There are some Landlords who are very concerned about their appartment buildings, who like it in a top shape and want to keep it for as long as they can. Unfortunetaly for me, my Landlord does not belong in that category.
He is the kind that THINKS he can fix stuff and renovate but in reality, he does a piss poor job in everything he attempts. He refuses to pay to get someone to fix anything because he can do it... When time allows it.
When I signed my lease for the appartment we had a few understandings:
1- The crack on the ceiling of the kitchen was to be patched. (Were talking 2 inches wide, 1.5 feet long crack...)
2- He was to install a small footing to prevent the floating floor from spacing out too much.
3- The kitchen floor was to be redone because the material in which it was, was detoriating.
4- He was to clean the only carpet of the appartment in the room. (We had originaly asked for it to be removed but he couldn't... there is a drain in the bed room that was not built properly and if he removes the carpet, the drain is exposed which means the whole room has to be redone... It also creates a bump in the room under the carpet. When you don't know it's there... You can knock out your little toe easily, it comes out the floor about an inch.)
This was in June 2004. He did change the floors of the kitchen. He installed big tiles of ceramic in the kitchen. Great, except for all the tiles he fucked up (broke in half cause he's clumsy) and instead of buying a new one, he put ciment in the crack and that results in a few ceramic tiles to actualy be a puzzle of 2-3 pieces of tile.
And that's all he did until I lost it back in June (2008) and I would like to note that my Landlord, was my upstairs neighboor until this July, he wasn't exactly far. Everyone has that shitty month where no matter what you do, you simply cannot come up with the rent on time. Usualy Landlords are pretty cool about it since it isn't on a regular basis. He was like that. I paid half the rent of February 2008 and told him i'd catch up the rest with small amount here and there. And I was paying him. One saturday morning in June 2008, 8:30AM my phone rings. It's Dan, my Landlord. He is rude, loud and screaming for his missing money saying he's been waiting... 4 months to receive the remaining balance. I lost it. I really snapped on the phone.
The first words to come out of my mouth were: ''What the fuck'', which sort of cut him off. It's fuckin' saturday 8:30 AM. You wake me up to scream at me? I carried on: ''Dan, you wanna talk about waiting? Take out my lease and read all the stuff you still haven't done. Do it Dan. I'm still waiting, 4 years later for my stopper for my floor which is all fucked up now. It has to be redone completely. I still have a 1.5 feet long by 2 inches wide crack in my kitchen which I have told you oh so many times about but you haven't done shit. I still have a leaking toilet, which I told you about a year ago. And I still have that hole you did in the small room in the ceiling not fixed. Wanna talk about waiting Dan? That's waiting for you.''
Here's the part I left out: I didn't rub it in his face that when I got in the appartment, June 2004, his wife had just come out of surgery to remove a cancerous part in her uterus. I didn't bug him, I understood. I waited 6 months before reminding him to which I was told: ''Oh yeah, soon''. Was I cool? I think so, maybe too much. They were things I could live with back then... Now I just can't stand it anymore.
So that morning, I woke up, signed him a check for the missing amount and went in my PJ bring it to him with the meanest look possible. He opened the door and he didn't even look me in the eyes. All he said was: ''Yeah sorry Chris... I think I may have been rude very early on...''. No shit Sherlock. He agreed to come check out the appartment and fix some stuff the next day. I was out that day so I told him he could come in and do whatever he had to do and we went over it again: The stopper for the floor but we have to redo the floor first, so wait for me so we can take off everything that's on the floor. Then the ceiling crack/hole in both rooms were to be patched and the toilet looked at.
Because he did not install the footing of the floating floor of the living room 3 years ago like it was originaly supposed to be, all the slats / floor slices / whatever you call it, all seperated from each other. Now the living room floor has spaces up to 2 inches wide seperated from each other. The day I was out, Sunday, he figured while i'm not there that he should just put the stopper and glue it solidely there. Thing is, he didn't fix the floating floor before. So now the floor is ''locked'' with all the spacing in between. Superficial? Maybe. It's just getting annoying to place my furniture in a way to ''hide'' as much as possible those cracks because if I don't, my floor looks like it was bombarded.
I don't think I need to say I was pissed at how fuckin' dumb that was on his part especialy since, 24h ago I told him: Wait for me, we'll take off everything and fix it. So I got home and saw that first which did not amuse me. Next in line, he had the ceiling plastered. Good he worked on it... Like a high school student. (I'm no pro but I recognize a shitty job when I see one) He also did not clean shit, so I have plaster all over my floor, I have all his tool, non-gathered, lying around everywhere and 2 huge fans in my way. For the record, i'd like to point out that it stayed that way until the next saturday.
So the next saturday he sanded the extra plaster (there was a LOT, first sign of a piss poor job of plaster) and then repainted the ceiling. He was then ''tired'' and said he'd look at the toilet the next day. He also did not clean the mess he made with the sander. But he packed all his tools and got out. I cleaned up and waited for him the next day. He ''forgot'' *wink wink* that he had soccer all day with his son that day. And the weekend after was July 1st or around and he was moving in his new house.
So he moved out and then had shit to do in his house. So I called him about it in Sept... Nothing. Oct... Nothing. Nov... Nothing and I didn't even bother trying in Dec or January. Instead I told him I was leaving in July but let's carry on with the story shall we?
So were the 2nd week of July, my landlord moved out, I have new upstairs neighboor and a ''fresh'' new ceiling for my kitchen! Hooray right? Wrong. I come home one night and to my surprise, my kitchen floor is flooded. The ceiling has water bells in it, some busted and leaking and all i'm thinking is: Well, this is gonna take another 4 years to fix. Turns out, the lady on the 3rd floor thought it would be a good idea to start her washing machine with a heavy load and then go out for grocery shopping. The pipe for the washer busted and the flooding went through both floors below. Call the landlord, he tells me he is on his way and he knows...
Wanna know what he did? He took MY towels to wipe most of the mess, basically, what I had done before he got here... then asked if I could take out my fans to dry it as much as possible, there was nothing more he could do at 8:30PM.
I still have a busted ceiling in the kitchen not fixed. The small room, which we could call the baby room still has a huge hole in the ceiling. Funny story about that hole... It was in 2006... (Yup, 2 years ago, still not fixed.) He buys a new dishwasher and he asked his 7 year old son to ''tighten'' the washer that makes sure no water leaks. Now who in their right fuckin' mind asks a 7 year old who can't open the god damn pickle jar, to screw something ''tight'' to make sure there is no water issues. Well he trusted his son and went on to start his washer. Well it created a huge mess in my office, which almost costed 2000$ because all my computer equipment was there and the water leak was huge. I had to run, unplug everything, then start putting baskets under the leak to make it stop then get him. All he did was dry it up, punch the hole in the paint and it remained that way since.
So as you can see, water issues in that building are numerous and I happen to know the previous person who rented my appartment. He added more history to it, then factor in my many water issues (And take note that for 4 years, at least once a month I had to mop my kitchen floor dry because the crack leaked.) and you have one fucked up building on the inside.
The saddest part is, nothing is going to be done about it. I could be a dick, write to the office of appartment and register a complaint and the whole 9 yards. Except I don't. I know I should but at the point at i'm at, I know i'm leaving, i'm just thinking: ''Why''? I do have the complaint made with pictures to back it up. All he has to do is piss me off once until June / July and the files are being sent.
The other sad part is... He will probably not even fix half the shit that's wrong with my appartment and he will still be able to rent it to another sucker.
I'm gone in July, thankfuly but it's also a shame that I will never trust another landlord again. I will follow them until I get what I need. But also, I learned a lesson. I'm never taking an appartment that has ''stuff'' to do in it prior to my arrival. My next appartment will be ready to move in when I get it.
*End rant*
He is the kind that THINKS he can fix stuff and renovate but in reality, he does a piss poor job in everything he attempts. He refuses to pay to get someone to fix anything because he can do it... When time allows it.
When I signed my lease for the appartment we had a few understandings:
1- The crack on the ceiling of the kitchen was to be patched. (Were talking 2 inches wide, 1.5 feet long crack...)
2- He was to install a small footing to prevent the floating floor from spacing out too much.
3- The kitchen floor was to be redone because the material in which it was, was detoriating.
4- He was to clean the only carpet of the appartment in the room. (We had originaly asked for it to be removed but he couldn't... there is a drain in the bed room that was not built properly and if he removes the carpet, the drain is exposed which means the whole room has to be redone... It also creates a bump in the room under the carpet. When you don't know it's there... You can knock out your little toe easily, it comes out the floor about an inch.)
This was in June 2004. He did change the floors of the kitchen. He installed big tiles of ceramic in the kitchen. Great, except for all the tiles he fucked up (broke in half cause he's clumsy) and instead of buying a new one, he put ciment in the crack and that results in a few ceramic tiles to actualy be a puzzle of 2-3 pieces of tile.
And that's all he did until I lost it back in June (2008) and I would like to note that my Landlord, was my upstairs neighboor until this July, he wasn't exactly far. Everyone has that shitty month where no matter what you do, you simply cannot come up with the rent on time. Usualy Landlords are pretty cool about it since it isn't on a regular basis. He was like that. I paid half the rent of February 2008 and told him i'd catch up the rest with small amount here and there. And I was paying him. One saturday morning in June 2008, 8:30AM my phone rings. It's Dan, my Landlord. He is rude, loud and screaming for his missing money saying he's been waiting... 4 months to receive the remaining balance. I lost it. I really snapped on the phone.
The first words to come out of my mouth were: ''What the fuck'', which sort of cut him off. It's fuckin' saturday 8:30 AM. You wake me up to scream at me? I carried on: ''Dan, you wanna talk about waiting? Take out my lease and read all the stuff you still haven't done. Do it Dan. I'm still waiting, 4 years later for my stopper for my floor which is all fucked up now. It has to be redone completely. I still have a 1.5 feet long by 2 inches wide crack in my kitchen which I have told you oh so many times about but you haven't done shit. I still have a leaking toilet, which I told you about a year ago. And I still have that hole you did in the small room in the ceiling not fixed. Wanna talk about waiting Dan? That's waiting for you.''
Here's the part I left out: I didn't rub it in his face that when I got in the appartment, June 2004, his wife had just come out of surgery to remove a cancerous part in her uterus. I didn't bug him, I understood. I waited 6 months before reminding him to which I was told: ''Oh yeah, soon''. Was I cool? I think so, maybe too much. They were things I could live with back then... Now I just can't stand it anymore.
So that morning, I woke up, signed him a check for the missing amount and went in my PJ bring it to him with the meanest look possible. He opened the door and he didn't even look me in the eyes. All he said was: ''Yeah sorry Chris... I think I may have been rude very early on...''. No shit Sherlock. He agreed to come check out the appartment and fix some stuff the next day. I was out that day so I told him he could come in and do whatever he had to do and we went over it again: The stopper for the floor but we have to redo the floor first, so wait for me so we can take off everything that's on the floor. Then the ceiling crack/hole in both rooms were to be patched and the toilet looked at.
Because he did not install the footing of the floating floor of the living room 3 years ago like it was originaly supposed to be, all the slats / floor slices / whatever you call it, all seperated from each other. Now the living room floor has spaces up to 2 inches wide seperated from each other. The day I was out, Sunday, he figured while i'm not there that he should just put the stopper and glue it solidely there. Thing is, he didn't fix the floating floor before. So now the floor is ''locked'' with all the spacing in between. Superficial? Maybe. It's just getting annoying to place my furniture in a way to ''hide'' as much as possible those cracks because if I don't, my floor looks like it was bombarded.
I don't think I need to say I was pissed at how fuckin' dumb that was on his part especialy since, 24h ago I told him: Wait for me, we'll take off everything and fix it. So I got home and saw that first which did not amuse me. Next in line, he had the ceiling plastered. Good he worked on it... Like a high school student. (I'm no pro but I recognize a shitty job when I see one) He also did not clean shit, so I have plaster all over my floor, I have all his tool, non-gathered, lying around everywhere and 2 huge fans in my way. For the record, i'd like to point out that it stayed that way until the next saturday.
So the next saturday he sanded the extra plaster (there was a LOT, first sign of a piss poor job of plaster) and then repainted the ceiling. He was then ''tired'' and said he'd look at the toilet the next day. He also did not clean the mess he made with the sander. But he packed all his tools and got out. I cleaned up and waited for him the next day. He ''forgot'' *wink wink* that he had soccer all day with his son that day. And the weekend after was July 1st or around and he was moving in his new house.
So he moved out and then had shit to do in his house. So I called him about it in Sept... Nothing. Oct... Nothing. Nov... Nothing and I didn't even bother trying in Dec or January. Instead I told him I was leaving in July but let's carry on with the story shall we?
So were the 2nd week of July, my landlord moved out, I have new upstairs neighboor and a ''fresh'' new ceiling for my kitchen! Hooray right? Wrong. I come home one night and to my surprise, my kitchen floor is flooded. The ceiling has water bells in it, some busted and leaking and all i'm thinking is: Well, this is gonna take another 4 years to fix. Turns out, the lady on the 3rd floor thought it would be a good idea to start her washing machine with a heavy load and then go out for grocery shopping. The pipe for the washer busted and the flooding went through both floors below. Call the landlord, he tells me he is on his way and he knows...
Wanna know what he did? He took MY towels to wipe most of the mess, basically, what I had done before he got here... then asked if I could take out my fans to dry it as much as possible, there was nothing more he could do at 8:30PM.
I still have a busted ceiling in the kitchen not fixed. The small room, which we could call the baby room still has a huge hole in the ceiling. Funny story about that hole... It was in 2006... (Yup, 2 years ago, still not fixed.) He buys a new dishwasher and he asked his 7 year old son to ''tighten'' the washer that makes sure no water leaks. Now who in their right fuckin' mind asks a 7 year old who can't open the god damn pickle jar, to screw something ''tight'' to make sure there is no water issues. Well he trusted his son and went on to start his washer. Well it created a huge mess in my office, which almost costed 2000$ because all my computer equipment was there and the water leak was huge. I had to run, unplug everything, then start putting baskets under the leak to make it stop then get him. All he did was dry it up, punch the hole in the paint and it remained that way since.
So as you can see, water issues in that building are numerous and I happen to know the previous person who rented my appartment. He added more history to it, then factor in my many water issues (And take note that for 4 years, at least once a month I had to mop my kitchen floor dry because the crack leaked.) and you have one fucked up building on the inside.
The saddest part is, nothing is going to be done about it. I could be a dick, write to the office of appartment and register a complaint and the whole 9 yards. Except I don't. I know I should but at the point at i'm at, I know i'm leaving, i'm just thinking: ''Why''? I do have the complaint made with pictures to back it up. All he has to do is piss me off once until June / July and the files are being sent.
The other sad part is... He will probably not even fix half the shit that's wrong with my appartment and he will still be able to rent it to another sucker.
I'm gone in July, thankfuly but it's also a shame that I will never trust another landlord again. I will follow them until I get what I need. But also, I learned a lesson. I'm never taking an appartment that has ''stuff'' to do in it prior to my arrival. My next appartment will be ready to move in when I get it.
*End rant*
mardi 6 janvier 2009
Welcome 2009 - F U 2008.
My god I suck at blogging. Well more like I suck at being frequent! 2008 is gone and I can't say I'm sad about it. It was a bad year for me on many levels. In december 2007, I came to a conclusion: The year is only what you make it out to be. I thought i'd make 2008 good but I went into a series of piss poor decision. From getting back with my ex... To trying to support her financialy, to tolerating bullshit from so many things to... Doing nothing really productive out of my year, 2008 wasn't all that awesome and I have only myself to blame.
Maybe i'm too hard on myself but somewhere, I think it's justified. 2008 wasn't all bad though. I learned a LOT about myself through being single for longer than 2 months for the first time in ... well 7 years. (4 years relationship and another 2 year one after that) I also reached the quarter of a century, 25 years old. That was another solid bitch slap straight to the face. Mike Tyson style, except I still have my ears.
In the good of 2008, I learned a lot about women (even though I still couldn't read women signals if my life depended on it! >.>) by having met a lot of them, having fun with quite a few of them. I also learned a lot about myself and where i'm at. What I want, what I simply cannot tolerate anymore. What i'm looking for, my objectives that i've been pushing back for as long as I remember. I'm starting to be able to live with myself.
A wise women told me not too long ago: ''A relationship, for me, is when you're at ease/comfortable with yourself. You're happy about your life and you feel complete by yourself. Your partner / bf / gf doesn't come to complete you but comes to add a bonus to your life.''. This seriously made me sit down and think. Because i've always been the opposite up until recently. To me, life didn't make any sense by being single. To me, life wasn't meant to be like that but in reality, I had never really known anything outside of relationship life. And having been single since early August (ok it's not that long but for me it's something so shush!) I have to say I'm only starting to enjoy it. To be comfortable with myself, doing stuff for me.
Before this ''experience'' (let's call it that), I would never do shit on my own. Exemple: Time to go shopping? I had to find someone. I never liked being alone. Now, I just pick up my keys, hop in the car and vlam i'm out. I go for breakfast alone on the weekends, read the paper and enjoy being up early. It doesn't seem like much for the common person but to me it's a great deal.
While it might seem like my ''good'' of 2008 outweights my ''bad'', it's just that i've skipped a lot of details of the bad. I could keep that for another blog. Back on topic:
So as I said, 2008 had it's share of good starting in august (which is when I got single... coincidence?) but also had a fair share of bad. In december, I was doing a recap of 2008 and thinking about all this. (I must've been a women in another life, I overthink on everything *sigh*.) And again, I thought of December 2007 where I said: The year is only what you make it out to be.
What will I make of 2009? What could I do differently to make it better? So many things. And I already started at the end of 2008. I changed many details about my attitude, my way of seeing things and that alone is a huge difference. Cynic would've been a perfect way to describe me before. Now I still am but when I am, i'm kidding. I'm not as serious in my cynic sayings. I don't see things as negative as before. I use to think: ''It'll never happen'' where as now: ''We don't know what tomorrow has in store.'' and we don't. Life is full of surprises.
Starting off the year with an attitude change is already a big plus. Next in line: Changes. I realised that i’ve been living in the same routine / pattern for the last 4 years-ish. Same hair cut… Same apartment… Same people… Same so many things. Nothing ever changes around me really. I took some initiatives to change that and here’s a news for ya:
Chris is moving out in July. Hell yeah, getting out of that shitty apartment should provide an already big change even though that’s only happening in July. Still, I’m all psyched up about it. It feels like a new start is coming. I will probably explain the shitty apartment I currently rent in a near future blog because trust me, my dear craptastic landlord Daniel is blogging material. Ever seen the show ‘’Canada’s worst handyman’’? My landlord would win that show without a contest.
This weekend I’m going for a semi make-over. New hair color, new cut… Clothes shopping and then I might stop by the tattoo / piercing shop. Because I can! I’m hungry for changes and I’m taking every step to change what has been ‘’like that’’ for so long and just add freshness to my life. It’s like changing the sheets of your bed. Take off the old ones and put on the new-fresh-out-the-dryer-smelling-like-snuggles-freshner sheet onto the bed. Don’t you just sleep like a baby that first night into the new sheets? It’s exactly what I’m doing with my life. Except they don’t sell snuggles for people so I’m gonna have to improvise.
I’ll end this with a quote and a semi explanation. ‘’Success begins with a person’s will.’’
Many people in my entourage have heard me talking about becoming my own boss one day. I have a talent for webdesign/web applications, something I really enjoy. I’ve been saying I want to launch it for so long… 2009 is where it’ll happen. The steps to making it real have been made, I’m a few steps away. If everything goes according to the business plan, I should be up and running and legit by Summer 2009 (I will still need to have my regular job but who knows, maybe I will have to work for someone a little less longer than I had planned.). I’ll give you guys more details on that project as it unfolds, such as name and all.
Wish me luck, not that I believe I will need it but it’s always appreciated ;). My will for 2009 is as strong as it’s ever been and confidence is at it’ peak. Brace yourself 2009, here I come.
Maybe i'm too hard on myself but somewhere, I think it's justified. 2008 wasn't all bad though. I learned a LOT about myself through being single for longer than 2 months for the first time in ... well 7 years. (4 years relationship and another 2 year one after that) I also reached the quarter of a century, 25 years old. That was another solid bitch slap straight to the face. Mike Tyson style, except I still have my ears.
In the good of 2008, I learned a lot about women (even though I still couldn't read women signals if my life depended on it! >.>) by having met a lot of them, having fun with quite a few of them. I also learned a lot about myself and where i'm at. What I want, what I simply cannot tolerate anymore. What i'm looking for, my objectives that i've been pushing back for as long as I remember. I'm starting to be able to live with myself.
A wise women told me not too long ago: ''A relationship, for me, is when you're at ease/comfortable with yourself. You're happy about your life and you feel complete by yourself. Your partner / bf / gf doesn't come to complete you but comes to add a bonus to your life.''. This seriously made me sit down and think. Because i've always been the opposite up until recently. To me, life didn't make any sense by being single. To me, life wasn't meant to be like that but in reality, I had never really known anything outside of relationship life. And having been single since early August (ok it's not that long but for me it's something so shush!) I have to say I'm only starting to enjoy it. To be comfortable with myself, doing stuff for me.
Before this ''experience'' (let's call it that), I would never do shit on my own. Exemple: Time to go shopping? I had to find someone. I never liked being alone. Now, I just pick up my keys, hop in the car and vlam i'm out. I go for breakfast alone on the weekends, read the paper and enjoy being up early. It doesn't seem like much for the common person but to me it's a great deal.
While it might seem like my ''good'' of 2008 outweights my ''bad'', it's just that i've skipped a lot of details of the bad. I could keep that for another blog. Back on topic:
So as I said, 2008 had it's share of good starting in august (which is when I got single... coincidence?) but also had a fair share of bad. In december, I was doing a recap of 2008 and thinking about all this. (I must've been a women in another life, I overthink on everything *sigh*.) And again, I thought of December 2007 where I said: The year is only what you make it out to be.
What will I make of 2009? What could I do differently to make it better? So many things. And I already started at the end of 2008. I changed many details about my attitude, my way of seeing things and that alone is a huge difference. Cynic would've been a perfect way to describe me before. Now I still am but when I am, i'm kidding. I'm not as serious in my cynic sayings. I don't see things as negative as before. I use to think: ''It'll never happen'' where as now: ''We don't know what tomorrow has in store.'' and we don't. Life is full of surprises.
Starting off the year with an attitude change is already a big plus. Next in line: Changes. I realised that i’ve been living in the same routine / pattern for the last 4 years-ish. Same hair cut… Same apartment… Same people… Same so many things. Nothing ever changes around me really. I took some initiatives to change that and here’s a news for ya:
Chris is moving out in July. Hell yeah, getting out of that shitty apartment should provide an already big change even though that’s only happening in July. Still, I’m all psyched up about it. It feels like a new start is coming. I will probably explain the shitty apartment I currently rent in a near future blog because trust me, my dear craptastic landlord Daniel is blogging material. Ever seen the show ‘’Canada’s worst handyman’’? My landlord would win that show without a contest.
This weekend I’m going for a semi make-over. New hair color, new cut… Clothes shopping and then I might stop by the tattoo / piercing shop. Because I can! I’m hungry for changes and I’m taking every step to change what has been ‘’like that’’ for so long and just add freshness to my life. It’s like changing the sheets of your bed. Take off the old ones and put on the new-fresh-out-the-dryer-smelling-like-snuggles-freshner sheet onto the bed. Don’t you just sleep like a baby that first night into the new sheets? It’s exactly what I’m doing with my life. Except they don’t sell snuggles for people so I’m gonna have to improvise.
I’ll end this with a quote and a semi explanation. ‘’Success begins with a person’s will.’’
Many people in my entourage have heard me talking about becoming my own boss one day. I have a talent for webdesign/web applications, something I really enjoy. I’ve been saying I want to launch it for so long… 2009 is where it’ll happen. The steps to making it real have been made, I’m a few steps away. If everything goes according to the business plan, I should be up and running and legit by Summer 2009 (I will still need to have my regular job but who knows, maybe I will have to work for someone a little less longer than I had planned.). I’ll give you guys more details on that project as it unfolds, such as name and all.
Wish me luck, not that I believe I will need it but it’s always appreciated ;). My will for 2009 is as strong as it’s ever been and confidence is at it’ peak. Brace yourself 2009, here I come.
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