Welcome 2009 - F U 2008.

My god I suck at blogging. Well more like I suck at being frequent! 2008 is gone and I can't say I'm sad about it. It was a bad year for me on many levels. In december 2007, I came to a conclusion: The year is only what you make it out to be. I thought i'd make 2008 good but I went into a series of piss poor decision. From getting back with my ex... To trying to support her financialy, to tolerating bullshit from so many things to... Doing nothing really productive out of my year, 2008 wasn't all that awesome and I have only myself to blame.

Maybe i'm too hard on myself but somewhere, I think it's justified. 2008 wasn't all bad though. I learned a LOT about myself through being single for longer than 2 months for the first time in ... well 7 years. (4 years relationship and another 2 year one after that) I also reached the quarter of a century, 25 years old. That was another solid bitch slap straight to the face. Mike Tyson style, except I still have my ears.

In the good of 2008, I learned a lot about women (even though I still couldn't read women signals if my life depended on it! >.>) by having met a lot of them, having fun with quite a few of them. I also learned a lot about myself and where i'm at. What I want, what I simply cannot tolerate anymore. What i'm looking for, my objectives that i've been pushing back for as long as I remember. I'm starting to be able to live with myself.

A wise women told me not too long ago: ''A relationship, for me, is when you're at ease/comfortable with yourself. You're happy about your life and you feel complete by yourself. Your partner / bf / gf doesn't come to complete you but comes to add a bonus to your life.''. This seriously made me sit down and think. Because i've always been the opposite up until recently. To me, life didn't make any sense by being single. To me, life wasn't meant to be like that but in reality, I had never really known anything outside of relationship life. And having been single since early August (ok it's not that long but for me it's something so shush!) I have to say I'm only starting to enjoy it. To be comfortable with myself, doing stuff for me.

Before this ''experience'' (let's call it that), I would never do shit on my own. Exemple: Time to go shopping? I had to find someone. I never liked being alone. Now, I just pick up my keys, hop in the car and vlam i'm out. I go for breakfast alone on the weekends, read the paper and enjoy being up early. It doesn't seem like much for the common person but to me it's a great deal.
While it might seem like my ''good'' of 2008 outweights my ''bad'', it's just that i've skipped a lot of details of the bad. I could keep that for another blog. Back on topic:

So as I said, 2008 had it's share of good starting in august (which is when I got single... coincidence?) but also had a fair share of bad. In december, I was doing a recap of 2008 and thinking about all this. (I must've been a women in another life, I overthink on everything *sigh*.) And again, I thought of December 2007 where I said: The year is only what you make it out to be.

What will I make of 2009? What could I do differently to make it better? So many things. And I already started at the end of 2008. I changed many details about my attitude, my way of seeing things and that alone is a huge difference. Cynic would've been a perfect way to describe me before. Now I still am but when I am, i'm kidding. I'm not as serious in my cynic sayings. I don't see things as negative as before. I use to think: ''It'll never happen'' where as now: ''We don't know what tomorrow has in store.'' and we don't. Life is full of surprises.

Starting off the year with an attitude change is already a big plus. Next in line: Changes. I realised that i’ve been living in the same routine / pattern for the last 4 years-ish. Same hair cut… Same apartment… Same people… Same so many things. Nothing ever changes around me really. I took some initiatives to change that and here’s a news for ya:

Chris is moving out in July. Hell yeah, getting out of that shitty apartment should provide an already big change even though that’s only happening in July. Still, I’m all psyched up about it. It feels like a new start is coming. I will probably explain the shitty apartment I currently rent in a near future blog because trust me, my dear craptastic landlord Daniel is blogging material. Ever seen the show ‘’Canada’s worst handyman’’? My landlord would win that show without a contest.

This weekend I’m going for a semi make-over. New hair color, new cut… Clothes shopping and then I might stop by the tattoo / piercing shop. Because I can! I’m hungry for changes and I’m taking every step to change what has been ‘’like that’’ for so long and just add freshness to my life. It’s like changing the sheets of your bed. Take off the old ones and put on the new-fresh-out-the-dryer-smelling-like-snuggles-freshner sheet onto the bed. Don’t you just sleep like a baby that first night into the new sheets? It’s exactly what I’m doing with my life. Except they don’t sell snuggles for people so I’m gonna have to improvise.

I’ll end this with a quote and a semi explanation. ‘’Success begins with a person’s will.’’

Many people in my entourage have heard me talking about becoming my own boss one day. I have a talent for webdesign/web applications, something I really enjoy. I’ve been saying I want to launch it for so long… 2009 is where it’ll happen. The steps to making it real have been made, I’m a few steps away. If everything goes according to the business plan, I should be up and running and legit by Summer 2009 (I will still need to have my regular job but who knows, maybe I will have to work for someone a little less longer than I had planned.). I’ll give you guys more details on that project as it unfolds, such as name and all.

Wish me luck, not that I believe I will need it but it’s always appreciated ;). My will for 2009 is as strong as it’s ever been and confidence is at it’ peak. Brace yourself 2009, here I come.